Rationale – This mini-lesson on self-conference would be wonderful to help
young adolescents critique their own work.
This would be appropriate for the beginning of the writing workshop, or
sometime later if the teacher realizes that students are skipping over this
critical step. Since students at this
age are so often critical of their own work, by answering questions, it may
help them to see that what they are producing is, in fact, great work. Also, the drama in their lives often reflects
in their writing and the self-conference technique would help them focus their
writing by including important details while leaving out extraneous
information. The packet contains more
questions on various topics for students to use later.
Materials
Post journal entry on the board – Think about the piece of writing you have been working on and answer these two questions in a paragraph, “What is it I’m trying to say here? Why am I writing this? What is the first thing you do when you finish a first draft?”
Ask the class, “Was it was easy to answer the first questions. Did the response just come to you, or did you have to think about it?” Students should raise their hands to answer. Some should say that it was easy, maybe because they are writing a letter of inquiry. Others should respond that it was harder because they are writinga short story or narrative. Remind them, “You should always consider those questions before, during, and after writing.” Then ask for volunteers to answer the last question, students should raise their hands to answer. You should get quite a few responses that sound like this, “I ask my neighbor to read it.” Push for some different responses. You may get some like, “I go back and read it for mistakes,” or “I put it away and come back to it later.”
Say, “You should be your own first critic. You shouldn’t have to run to a peer or parent to “proofread” for you.” Explain, “I know it is difficult to find your own mistakes. and today I will use a piece of my own writing to demonstrate how to confer with yourself. When we are finished going over my writing, you will have a chance to look at a piece you are working on and you should be able to conference with yourself as a first step in revising. Only after you have completed this first step will you ask for another person’s advice.”
Explain, “I was instructed to respond to a quote from the book Blood and Chocolate and I will read that response to the class.” Ask the class, “Please put away everything you have in front of you and pay close attention to what I’m about to do. I’m going to demonstrate my own self-conference by thinking out loud.” Put transparency up as you read, so students can follow along. After reading, place the Questions About Purpose transparency up and say, “Now, using what I have just read to you, I will answer these questions to make sure that my writing has purpose.” Read the first question out loud, and then refer back to the writing and look through the piece for the answer. Anything that comes to mind, you should say out loud. Debate with yourself and correct yourself out loud so the students can see the processes they should go through in order to properly confer with themselves. Write your responses on the transparency, they don’t have to be complete sentences, just thoughts and maybe some key phrases from the writing.
Explain, “You will spend the rest of the class with one piece of writing and complete the questions about purpose from the packet. Use the writing you are currently working on to answer just the questions about purpose on another sheet of paper, you need to save the packet for future reference. If you cannot clearly answer the question asked, you should mark that question and come back to it later. When you have completed the questions, you should attempt to insert anything missing into your work.” Say, “The packet I have given you includes questions about Information, Leads, Conclusions, Titles, and Style as well. This should become a reference for you to come back to when you are drafting and revising.” Also explain, “Some questions may not apply to particular pieces of writing, but you should be able to explain why those questions are irrelevant to your piece.” Remind them, “Remember, today you only have to answer the questions about purpose.”
“When you come to conference today, be prepared to talk about strong points and the places where the work was lacking. If you are not finished answering the questions we will go over some of them together.” Save about 20 minutes at the end of class to debrief. Ask the students, “Did you have difficulty answering any of the questions?” They may comment on the, “So what?” question. Say, “This is a vague question, and it is subject to argument. As long as you have a reason for writing your piece, don’t focus too much on that question. Your reason could be personal, it could be inquiring, or it could be for fun. This question is supposed to help you decide if you have conveyed that purpose through your words and style.”
Writing Sample from Blood and Chocolate
The need to dominate is bred into us…and they are easy to
dominate. It’s seductive, this power
over them. And they’re so fragile, there
are those you almost want to protect…But they’re dangerous…They’re desperately
afraid of things they can’t understand, and there’s
more of them than us. (Blood 225)
This applies to a theme broader than any other in the book. It goes past the uneducated, past the educated, past the young and the old, even past humans and animals. For centuries, and still to this day, this primeval desire to control another creature is borne and natural to all of us. It explains American slavery, African Apartheid, domestic violence and even the simplest, bullies. Vivian’s strength in the matter is that she recognizes this desire as one to be controlled and even suppressed when the need arises. Adolescents perhaps, are the cruelest to each other because of this natural craving to control something, anything. When their own bodies are out of their hands, stretching, widening, developing in confusing and often traumatic ways, they strain and yearn for control over anything, even another person. They become dictators of each other’s lives where there is no true authoritarian. No one person is ever above everyone; there is always someone stronger, faster, or better. They play a twisted game of monopoly over each other’s lives where the ultimate goal is total control. The trick is to learn that control is found in acceptance. Vivian accepts that she is different as are her human friends, and she learns to respect herself and them all the more for their diversity. She also has a certain level of fear towards humans because she realizes that differences breed fear. Her acceptance is similar to that of slaves who simply accepted their positions, not necessarily the best place to be, but her explanation is that her kind are severely outnumbered by humans. Perhaps if there were more of her kind, she would be more of an activist and try harder to change others’ minds about such metamorphs.
Self-Conference Packet (adapted
from In the Middle by Nancie Atwell)
Questions About Purpose
Does the writing answer the question, “So what?”
Do I have a big idea? Do I have enough specifics to support this theme, argument, or purpose?
Is the writing honest?
Will it make the reader think and feel?
Do I know what I’m talking about?
Will readers relate to the writing so strongly that I hold their attention the whole time?
Questions About Information
Is my information sufficient? Is it accurate?
Have I told enough? Have I explained each part well enough that a reader will know what I mean, every step of the way?
What’s the strongest, most satisfying part, and how can I build on it?
Have I described thoughts and feeling at the points where readers will wonder what I am, or what my main character is, thinking and feeling?
Have I embedded the context; told where, when, how, what, and with whom?
Have I described the scene with enough detail that a reader can see it happening-can envision people in action?
Did people talk? Have I directly quoted words they said? Does it sound the way these people would speak to each other? Can a reader hear what they’re like?
Have I created questions in a reader’s mind about where the writing will lead?
Have I included specifics that reveal my character, myself, my subject, or my argument?
Is the pace too fast to hold someone’s interest or convince a reader? Do I need to slow down and expand on any part?
Is the writing plausible, or believable? Are the reasons for actions and reactions clear and compelling?
Is the writing true in terms of history, science, mathematics, geography, contemporary social issues, etc.? Have I done the research that gives credence to what I’m saying?
Is my information in the best order?
Do I have too much information?
What parts aren’t needed--don’t add to my point, theme, character, or plot? Can I delete them?
What is this piece of writing really about? Are there parts that are about something else? Can I cut them?
Which is the one best example or illustration?
Are there redundancies? Can I figure out the best way to say it once?
Have I contradicted myself anywhere?
Are there any places where the pace bogs down? Can I delete and compress information and speed things up?
Is there too much conversation? Too many details? Too much description? Have I explained something too thoroughly?
Is this a “bed-to-bed” memoir that describes every single event of one day? Can I focus on the important part of the experience and delete the rest?
Have I cut to the chase?
Questions About Leads
Does the lead engage readers and bring them right into the theme, purpose, tone, action, or the mind of the main character?
Does the lead give direction to the rest of the writing?
Does the lead set the tone or create the first impression I want for my readers?
Where does the piece really begin? Can I cut the first paragraph? The first two? The first page?
Questions About Conclusions
How do I want my reader to feel and think at the end? Will this conclusion do it?
Does my conclusion drop off and leave my reader wondering or confused?
Does my conclusion feel tacked on?
Does my conclusion go on and on?
Does my conclusion give readers a sense of closure but also invite them to want to read this writing again?
Questions About Titles
Does the title fit the big idea of what the writing is about?
Is the title a “grabber?” Would it make a reader want to read my writing? (Or is it merely a description of the topic?)
Does the title give a hint or taste of the topic?
Is the title memorable?
Questions About Style
Is the imagery concrete? Can a reader see, hear, feel, smell, taste this?
Is my choice of words simple, clear, and direct?
Have I cluttered my writing with unnecessary adjectives and adverbs?
Have I used strong, precise verbs?
Have I used of Macrorie’s Bad Words (really, very, so, all)?
Have I used any word(s) too often, especially in contiguous sentences?
Are my sentences clear, direct, to the point?
Are my sentences active: I did this, not It was done?
Are any sentences too long and tangled? Too brief and choppy?
Have I used punctuation (: ; - …) that will give voice and meaning to my writing?
Have I paragraphed often enough to give a reader’s eyes some breaks?
Have I broken the flow of my piece by paragraphing too often?
Have I grouped together ideas related to each other?
Is my information in order? Is this a logical sequence? Have I provided transitions for the reader from one idea to the next?
Is there a voice, an actor?
Does the voice stay the same – first-person participant (I did it) or third-person observer (he or she did it)?
Does the verb tense stay the same – present (it’s happening now or in general) or past (it happened before)?
Does the writing sound like literature – does it flow – when I read it aloud to myself?