Chris Turner

October 11, 2004

 

Craft Lesson Plan:

Making Sentences Better/Excellent

 

Overview:

            This craft mini-lesson will explore the advantage of using different descriptive words in sentences.  By consulting a thesaurus and a dictionary, as well as other resources, such as the teacher and peers, the student will be able to use a wide variety of descriptive words, such as specific nouns and strong verbs, to write papers more effectively.  (38-40 minutes)

 

National Standards:

  1. Students employ a wide range of strategies as they write and use different writing process elements appropriately to communicate with different audiences for a variety of purposes.
  2. Students apply knowledge of language structure, language conventions, media techniques, figurative language, and genre to create, critique, and discuss print and non-print texts.

 

State Standards:

    • 4.03 – Use the stance of a critic.
    • 6.01 – Model an understanding of conventional written and spoken expression by applying the parts of speech to clarify language usage.
    • 6.02 – Continue to identify and edit errors in spoken and written in English by using correct spelling of words appropriate in difficulty for middle graders; producing final drafts that demonstrate accurate spelling and the correct use of punctuation, capitalization and format.

 

Materials Needed:

 

Example Story to Revise:

            “One day Mollie woke up and felt good.  She ate pancakes for breakfast until she was full.  Then she saw how nice it was outside.  And then Mollie went to the Parkway because it was a really nice day outside.  She played Frisbee with her friend until it was dark.  Then she drove home and went to bed because she was tired and then she took a nap.”

 

Example Descriptive Story:

from The Hobbit

            “They walked in single file.  The entrance to the path was like a sort of arch leading into a gloomy tunnel made with two great trees that leant together, too old and strangled with ivy and hung with lichen to bear more than a few blackened leaves.  The path itself was narrow and wound in and out among the trunks.  Soon the light at the gate was like a little bright hole far behind, and the quiet was so deep that their feet seemed to thump along while all the trees leaned over them and listened.”

 

Procedure/Assignment:

            (9-10 minutes) “Writing is very powerful.  It can be persuasive, knowledgeable, and controversial.  But to achieve effective writing you must be able to write effective sentences and thoughts.  Descriptive words and phrases can help us become better writers.  This section that I am passing out is from one of my favorite books, JRR Toliken’s The Hobbit.  Read it and notice how descriptive it sounds.”  Give them a few minutes.  “What did you feel when you read this?  Did you feel like you were a part of the story?”  Wait for their response.

(1-2 minutes)“What I am passing out now is an example of a paragraph I wrote.”  Pass out the ‘Example Story to Revise.’  “Take a few minutes to read this.”  Give a couple of minutes for the students to read the paragraph.

(5-6 minutes) “What are some things you noticed about this paragraph?”  Wait for response.  “Notice that the language used in the paragraph are very ineffective words – such as “really ____” or “and then….”  “What words would be more effective to use?”  Wait for their responses; you may want to write these on the board.  “For example, use this sentence:  ‘And then the Mollie went to the parkway because it was a really nice day outside.’   What could we change it to?”  Offer:  “Since the weather was so beautiful outside, Mollie then drove to the Parkway and enjoyed the warm sun’s rays on her skin.”  You can also consult a thesaurus to change different phrases and sentences to restructure it into a new, more descriptive paragraph.

(10 minutes) “Now that you have an idea on constructing more effective sentences, pull out one of your pieces.  It can be something you wrote earlier this semester or something you’re about to turn in; a poem, story, or narrative.  Anything.”  Wait for the students to pull out one of their pieces.  “Read your piece very carefully again.  What are some changes you can make?  What are some sections you think are weak?  Take a few minutes to revise it.”  Give the students a few minutes to revise.

(12 minutes) Once the students have completed this, get their attention.  “Ok, now that you have revised, switch papers with a partner.  Take a couple minutes to revise your partner’s paper.  Add descriptive words and phrases when necessary.”  After a few minutes, have them switch back.  “Take a look at your final copy.  How different does it look from your original copy?”

 

Conclusion:

            (1-2 minutes) “Are there any questions about what we did today?”  Wait for response.  “Descriptive words and phrases are important to use in effective writing because they can add such a different dimension to a paper.  Adding descriptive words can change a paper from ordinary to extraordinary.  Always keep this in mind when writing papers.  Don’t be limited to yourself and a thesaurus when writing, either, use me, one of your peers, another teacher, or a parent to help you revise.”